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Online dating websites are SCARY, DEPRESSING, and CRAZY

So, my crazy wife that I have mentioned in previous posts is now my crazy ex-wife. Yeah... it was actually her idea to get divorced. But she made it easy for me to agree, because she was cheating on me.

So, I've been looking at some of those online dating sites..... HOOOLLLEEEEE crap they are a strange phenomenon. Luckily, after my 10 year training in the mental workings of insane women, I can spot the bad eggs right off the bat.

Here are some of the giveaways:

• "Pucker-up" face in their profile picture. That screams "I AM EMBARASSED BUT DESPERATE!"
• User names that contain words like "princess, cutie, 4u, sweetie, hotmama, sexxygal", etc. Methinks thou dost protest too much!
• "Glamour shots" profile pictures. Word of advice: these pics are only going to catch the attention of dumbasses!
• Some websites show the age range people are looking for... Anyone who puts in "18 to 60". Um.. yeah, I'm going to stay away from that one.

There are many more subtle giveaways but that's a good place to start.

Online dating site wish list:

• A more efficient way to delete people from future searches. Such as, a check box, or a "select all on this page" feature.
  

These sites are only semi useful after spending hours weeding out all the warning sign profiles.

Be safe out there!

Dr. Hu

Did American Idol turn it's fans into bastards, or were they already that way?

Fans of American Idol started out innocently enough. At first, it seemed as if people enjoyed watching the show because it was exciting to see a "common man" win a shot at a real music career.

Today, years later, the fans are different. No, not different people, but they behave differently. 

The level of venom towards contestants who they do not favor has grown exponentially. They are full of a kind of righteous indignation when someone who "doesn't deserve to win" stays in longer than their favorite. It almost reminds me of old-timey racism, except it typically doesn't have anything to do with race (as far as I can tell). 

They squeal with frantic glee when their picks get props from Randy or approval from Simon.  They giggle like Japanese schoolgirls when their least favorite mess up a lyric or a note. 

If that's not bad enough, they literally cry when their fave gets voted off. 

Has Ryan Seacrest secretly hypnotized AI fans, causing them to lose their grip on reality? Do the fans get confused and think this show is real life, or worse yet, more real than real life?

How is it possible that fans of a karaoke variety show seem to literally HATE complete strangers on the T.V. set? 

American Idol has turned a large portion of Americans into bastards. Of course, I know deep down that is not true. People need an excuse to be bastards; a safe and acceptable excuse. American Idol provides that outlet. It's OK to be a completely vile venomous jerk towards someone on the TV screen who "looks funny when they sing" or "is a brat, I can tell". 

I hate American Idol.

Urutoraman Eiti aka Ultraman 80

Corporate doublespeak

I am surrounded by corporate doublespeak. HELP ME!

Gamera is a giant turtle but i'm not sure if he's from outer space or what.

Beware of Myspace. It is full of crazy people.

My wife has met a bunch of crazy people on myspace. She has even given her cell phone # to some of them. One guy calls her in the middle of the night every so often. (See previous post about insomnia for further reference)

Myspace is full of freaks, wackos, the clinically depressed, and the chronically depraved.  I think I hate MySpace.

I work with insane people. Here is one example. The "got married too young" girl.

One of the people I work with is a girl (I can hardly call her a woman) who got married at age 19 to a 31 year old man. They have been married for 1 year. She is in denial and is as clueless as any 19 year old (male or female-- I was clueless at 19 as well).

I can tell she is insecure about it and has doubts. "Well Dr. Hu, everyone has doubts!" True, but sometimes it is more obvious and strong than others.

Not that I care-- people can get married whenever to whomever, whatever, ya know, as long as they are of age and all of that stuff. But this particular individual annoys me because she is so clueless, naiive, and starry-eyed about the world. 

Years from now, she will be less annoying I hope. For now, I wish she'd call in sick more often.

Self-Inflicted Insomnia

My wife has insomnia. 

I have my own theories about this affliction. 

She claims she can't sleep like a normal person. So, instead she stays up til the wee hours of the morning every day.

Yet, every day without fail, she goes to sleep at the wee hours of the morning. And often times takes naps at the same time each day. Like clockwork.

Her "insomnia" is self-inflicted. She needs to reset and re-train her biological clock. 

Also, sometimes, she forces herself to stay up and do things even when mere moments before, she was nodding off on the couch. Why not just go to bed at that point?

We interact with insane people every day

Every day, we interact with insane people. Often, we don't realize it. 

Many of us are married to an insane person and don't realize it. However, you may suspect it, at least in the back of your mind.

I suspect it.

In many posts to come, I will chronicle some of the insane events that take place in my life, my marriage, my job, and elsewhere. 

I am not a real doctor. I am Doctor Hu. I created MechaKong. MechaKong is the name of my blog, and also the name of a mechanical KING KONG. :)